Kanye West feat. Adam Levine-"Heard 'em Say"
My mother used to say something to that effect when I was younger, and I never realized how true it was until a few months ago.
I say that because, four months ago, my two best friends and I decided to part ways with one another. Somethings were said and some words were exchanged. There were mistakes made, on both ends, and for months, I haven't been able to write about it. I have been unable to find the words to succinctly and accurately describe how I feel about how the situation unfolded.
I felt as is our friendship was strong enough to withstand the test of time.
I forgave them when they did things that hurt me, and I felt as if they owed me the same courtesy that I afforded them.
It was as if everything that happened in our friendship until that point was a lie. So many old feelings were stirred up in the those last three days, that spanned the whole friendship.
My question is, if we supposed to be such good friends, why is it that when I came to you with my concerns you didn't articulate yours?
If we were such good friends, why didn't you feel comfortable telling me that I had done something that hurt you?
Although I may be harsh, I am the polar opposite when dealing with my friends unless they need the ugly truth.
I say all that to say this, I miss them and I don't understand why we're at the impasse that we are at right now.
All of this could've been avoided if we communicated a little differently.
I guess 'Ye was right again... people in your life are for a season, and everything that happens is for a reason.
I think that you learn something from every one that you come in contact with. Whether they're in your life for a nanosecond or forever, you're learning something. Something about yourself, something about people, something about anything at all.
I'm not quite sure what I've learned from this or them, but I'm thinking that I did learn that I am capable of caring, of being a friend.
Despite their indifference to what I think about them, I am definitely affected by what they think of me. I'm self-conscious and it's getting easier to admit it.
