"I'm not the type to walk around with matching shirts/relationships take effort/ I will match your work."
-Common- "The Light"
"I could never fully get with loving somebody wholeheartedly and not getting that shit back"
-Scorpio Blues-"Second Guessing"
In all of my relationships I prided myself on being the type of girl friend that was willing to put in the effort and the work to maintain the relationship. I always found my self skipping, falling, jumping, and diving head first into love and doing any and everything for that love no matter if it was good or bad for me.
In retrospect, I guess I didn't give as much as I thought though. I thought I was fully giving myself to this particular person but in reality I couldn't really get with loving them if the love wasn't reciprocated.
So I was definitely matching his work, when he gave me half of himself, I only gave him half, I may have been trying to hold us together, but somewhere in my subconscious mind, I was half- assing it and to "fake it til you make it" is not always the best when you're losing a piece of yourself each day that you stay with someone who isn't giving an effort, I mean shit, come on.
I must say that the tables have definitely turned and although things are not always a traipse through the flowers, he works, he meets me in the middle, he hears me, he sees me, and now I finally feel as if I've met that perfect match who will meet me in the middle. Someone who won't just let me be self conscious but who comforts you and compliments you in every way possible. He's a true friend that I know for sure. There's no more second guessing, because this time I am really and truly in love.
