This Poem Is Because I Love You

This poem is because I'm blinking back tears and because I can't love you like I want to
This poem is because my head hurts when ever I have to leave you and go back to a house that is not my home
This poem is because as we lay in our respective beds at night and have phone conversations about nothing, more tears come
Staining my sea foam colored pillow case
I cry because I love you, because words are not enough
This poem is because I can't articulate my plee for help and because you're the knight in shining armour that I want to cry to but I don't know where to begin
This poem is because I need help and things are out of control and you're the only one whose orders I want to take
This poem is because playing a movie that I've seen a hundred times to fall asleep is no longer an adequate companion at night
because I've fallen asleep in your arms and slept soundly and woke up happy
This poem is because I'm scared that you don't fully understand the intangible depth of my love for you and it's because I think you'll let me go and watch me fall
This poem is because tonight I need you
This poem is because tonight is the hardest night I've had because I'm struggling to hold back my whimpers while trying not to choke on my pride
This poem is because not laying your arms might kill me then steal my breath and use it to ill speak me
This poem is because tonight is an unbearable pain in my heart
This poem is because I might die from my sadness
This poem is because you mean the world to me even when my world is crashing down around me
This poem is because tonight I might not be able to exist without your comfort
This poem is because I love you
-Fayola Perry
(Copy written so don't copy me)

Poem from/for Slams: For Granny, For Daddy 050608

After dark there is light my friend.
No longer does the finality of death mean that this is the better end.
Come to terms with it and understand what it means, yet do understand that we shant ever part because
 we're together in your dreams.
See death isn't pretty so damn the flowers and if one's not born yet how can you give them a shower.
But that's getting off topic;don't hold it against me, just drop it.
I'm  toxic because it seems like death had plagued me.
Try to run away from it but it invades me;sanity evades me.
Stood so close to the graves so as to better see but in both sets of closed eyes all I saw was the death of
 me.
Cold limbs and fixed facial expressions- I harbor old feelings that grow into aggression I approached
 both coffins with discretion, not ready for either to be taken away from me .
It hurts that I can only remember him vaguely , she was taken away from me, to early see, she was my
 number one fan.
Through every step of the way she held my hand.
She prayed me into this world, I praised her out.
She's in the upper room with the Lord that she told everyone about.
She was the biggest role model in my life; her eminent death pierced my heart like a dart or a knife.
The poet said, " God only takes the best".
I guess I must keep that in mind since he laid them both to rest.
She took off her bracelet and now I've got her Bible; If I said I didn't miss her, that'd be libel.
Losing these two people, so undeserving of such suffering-as the matriarch, her loving was buffering
 for all our feelings, so who do we turn to now?
God's good and faithful servants have taken their last bows, I guess from this day forward, this I vow, to love my family in the here and in the now.
- Fayola Perry
(Copy written so don't copy me)

Love, so many things I want to tell you...

" Love/ so many things I've got to tell you/ but I'm afraid I don't know how/ 'cause there's a possibilty that you'll look at me differently/ love/ ever since the first spoke your name/from then on I knew by you being in my life/ things were destined to change"
Musiq Soulchild- "Love"

" Just cuz I love you and you love me/ it doesn't mean that were meant to be"
Jazmine Sullivan- " Lions and Tigers and Bears"

"It hurts I ain't gon lie, Oh I/ You said just what I thought you would/ and it's hurts I ain't gon lie oh I/ But it doesn't hurt as bad as it could" Jazmine Sullivan- "Hurricane"

I did it once, stood with my face nestled in his neck and breathed him in as he did the same. It was as if in that moment, nothing else mattered but he and I.

Never would I have thought that A) I'd find some one that seemed so divinely compatible and B) that once I found that some one, that maintaining this seemingly "divine relationship" wouldn't be divine at all.

There are so many things, I want to tell him, to yell to him, to ask him, to thank him for. We broke up the other day, this time for the last time.

No more I love yous, baby I miss yous, or goodmornings. No more breaks. Just over.

I want to tell him I still love him, that I still care, that I pray for him more than I pray for myself. I want to ask why he put me through what he put me through. This roller coaster has caused a wave of emotions to take over my heart, creep into my throat and lungs and stop me from breathing. The air's unfamiliar staleness only reminds me that his smell, his touch are what I long for and for me this air is just insufficient without him.
Yet, I am angry with him, it seemed he would do anything to get me back , but nothing to keep me.
I knew that from the moment we met, from the moment our hearts leapt and became one that my life would be different. I knew that regardless of what happened between he and I, would forever change my life and the way I love.
We are proof that because two people love each other doesn't mean that they're meant to be together. I think we loved each other, but that we are just no longer in love. For now that's ok.
It hurts, I'm not going to lie. Break ups tend to do that. Honestly, it doesn't hurt as bad as it could, because yes I saw it coming.
And I hate to get corny, because that's not me...
but to Elvin I say, me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, a sentencewithoutspaces, and as a writer, I can't have that, now can I?